Like the Highlander franchise, this series has gone on longer than originally planned. Part seven (!) with one to go. Here are parts one, two, three, four, five and six.

One of the best ways to get to know a church is to take a membership class if one is offered. One of my ‘finalist’ churches offers what is called an inquirers class that is a prerequisite for membership, but is open to anyone who desires to know more about church doctrine, polity, etc. (A church that offers a class like this is usually one that is serious about Discipline/Discipleship). If one is not offered, ask an elder or the pastor out for coffee or a meal to get acquainted and talk about the church.

Some readers may find it amusing to know that my two finalists were a Baptist Church and a Presbyterian (PCA) Church. A Brethren Church was a distant third place; in their case, the musical style, personal connection and size were factors against, but the preaching was fantastic. On essential Christian doctrine, all these churches qualified, though they differ greatly on secondary issues.

Here is an ironic twist: Remember some of the bad reasons I listed for leaving a church?  Some of these bad reasons might be good reasons to not choose a particular church as your new home. In other words, why go looking for problems? If you left a church because it has grown too large (not a good reason to leave), then you should probably eliminate large-ish churches from your list of possibilities. It’s a bad reason to leave a church because you don’t like the music half the time; but if you don’t like half the music at a prospective church, it might be a good reason to not join it.

Time to get serious

Hopefully, you’ll now be at a point to decide on a church and the right choice will be clear. Again, praise God if this is true for you. If you’re not yet at this point, it’s time to get serious and make a decision.

Assuming you have your list narrowed down to two churches, devote a month to one church, then devote the next month to the other. And I do mean DEVOTE. Give yourself to everything you think you might be interested in as a member (Acts 2:42). Most churches welcome visitors to join with all their worship, prayer, fellowship and service groups. Join the choir, attend Sunday school, bible study, a committee meeting, youth group, a fellowship dinner, a council meeting, small group, prayer meeting, a work day, a service project, personal evangelism, or anything else you think you might enjoy doing. Get to know the people and how they do things. Prayerfully reflect on each experience and ask God to make the decision clear to you.

At my ‘finalist’ church, I sang in the choir over Christmas, joined a Sunday school class and attended Men’s bible study. I also invited the Senior Pastor out for coffee one evening to talk about my search and ask questions about my situation and the church. These were means toward the end of getting a good ‘feeling’ for the church and her people, not just an analytical examination of the strengths and weaknesses of the programs and ministry. One of the things the pastor told me was that relationships matter greatly. I don’t think I had given them as much weight as they deserved prior to that meeting.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Pray, pray, pray and pray some more (Eph. 6:18, Phil. 4:6). This cannot be stressed enough if you are struggling with any decision. It is especially true when choosing a new church for you and your family. Spend time also reading God’s word. Read Acts to learn about things the early church was doing. Read the Timothy 1 & 2 and Titus to learn about what biblical leadership should look like.

Pray also with your spouse and your children. Spend time reading portions of Acts together. Talk to your Christian friends about your decision and ask them to pray for you and your future church. Seek the wise counsel of a trusted elder friend (Prov. 28:26, 13:20) who has gone through what you’re going through. Pray some more. Meditate on God’s word. Repeat. Often.

Pull the Trigger

Remember the shock of not going to your old church the first Sunday after you left? You were comfortable there; it was like second nature to drive there and find your seat on the same side every week. Eventually the shock wore off and you got used to being a ‘drifter.’ If you’re like me, you probably skipped a few Sunday gatherings altogether. But you got used to being uncomfortable.

Strange thing, this: You can get very comfortable being uncomfortable; so much so that it becomes uncomfortable to think about getting comfortable again. Don’t let it happen! Make a commitment! Drop the hammer on that nail and drive it home!

You’re never going to have all the information you need. You’ll never know all the people you should know well enough. There is going to be something that you missed. In the end, you need to trust that God has led you to the place where He wants you to be. (Prov. 3:5)

Don’t worry! (Matt. 6:34) God knows what He’s doing!

Make an informed, educated choice and stick with it. Throw in your lot with the people you feel drawn to intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Commit to them and let them commit to you. Enter a relationship with God’s people, do your best to love them and keep praying for the best. (John 13:34-5)

Next: Finishing Up and Starting Over

Advent: noun [ad’-vent]

1. The period beginning four Sundays before Christmas, observed in commemoration of the coming of Christ into the world.
2. Arrival or coming.

Advent is a time of preparation in the Christian liturgical calendar observed by many Christians. It is traditional, not biblical; but it is not sinful either, as long as all the foofaraw doesn’t obstruct the good news of Christ.

The Distraction

Christmas trees and wreaths, mistletoe and silver bells, candy canes and presents, Santa Claus and Rudolph; even many Christmas carols can distract us from the advent of Christ. Saying Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays isn’t even the point, nor is erecting a nativity scene in the town square. Buying gifts, gathering with family or friends, and taking time off from school also have nearly nothing to do with the coming of Christ.

The Danger

Don’t get all wrapped up in the traditionalism, sentimentality and emotionalism of Christmastime. Most Christmas traditions celebrated in America aren’t biblical anyway. Retelling a mythologized version of Jesus’ birth complete with an innkeeper, a stable full of animals and three kings (none of which are mentioned in scripture) conceals the truth of the historical birth.

The Dilemma

Even if we can get past the distractions and the dangers of Advent, we still have a dilemma: Why are we going through all these preparations for something that has already happened? Is it just a commemoration, or is it something more? Maybe we can take a clue from the words of some biblical Christmas carols.

Joy to the world the Lord is come, let Earth receive her king;

Let every heart prepare him room, and heaven and nature sing.

Sing choirs of angels, sing in exultation, sing all ye citizens of heaven above;

Glory to God, all glory in the highest; O come let us adore Him, Christ the Lord.

Come, Thou long expected Jesus; born to set Thy people free;

From our fears and sins release us, let us find our rest in Thee.

Israel’s Strength and Consolation, hope of all the earth Thou art;

Dear Desire of every nation, joy of every longing heart.

The Declaration

I submit to you that these lyrics are not solely about the first advent of Christ, but equally about the second. Keep in mind that Jesus promised to come again and call his church home to Himself (John 14:3). Go ahead and re-read the words to the songs above with this second, future advent in mind.

Really. Go back and re-read them. I’ll wait.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

As this season of advent (Christ’s imminent arrival) progresses, let us press onward and remember His first coming in lowly circumstance and poverty, but don’t falsely romanticize it! The incarnation was at once, the most selfless act of condescension ever performed and also the most valuable gift ever given by our sovereign God. Christ’s second coming will not be so quiet.

Are you ready to sing with the joy of angels that Christ has returned?

Are you ready for the advent of Christ, today?

Jesus has gone to prepare a place for you. Are you preparing a place for Him?

“We are a resurrection people living in a perpetual Advent.”  – David Ridenhour

I live in an area of Ohio where there are more than 100 churches within a 20 minute drive. I was able to narrow down my list of potential new church homes to about a dozen while sitting at my computer.

The first thing I did was eliminate every church that has “UNI” in its name (Thanks, Todd Friel). United Church of Christ, Unitarian Universalist (double-whammy!) and Unity Church are not worth wasting your time considering because they either tolerate/allow sinful teaching and behaviors or even celebrate them. This is also true to a lesser degree with Evangelical Lutheran, Episcopal and some Presbyterian (PCUSA) churches as well. Elimination of these falls under the heading of “Lack of Biblical Church Discipline.” (See 1 Cor 5:1ff for more information.)

Write down what you believe and why. Be sure to cite scriptural reasons for them if you can. This is not a “preferences” list; it is a list of biblical truths that cannot be compromised. Keep secondary issues out of it for now.

Here is my list (Note the words, is and must):

• One God, three persons, all are God, holy and set apart (Deut 6:4, Matthew 28:19 Isaiah 6:3)
• Man is sinful by nature and separated from God since Adam’s fall (Rom 3:23, 1 Cor 15:22)
• The person and work of Jesus is the focus of the church and the ONLY WAY to reconciliation with God for those he elects (1 Cor 1:2, John 14:6, Acts 4:12, Eph 1:4-5 )
• Jesus lived a sinless life, died an atoning death on the cross, rose from the dead and went to the Father. He’ll be back to collect His church someday (2 Cor 5:21, Acts 2:32-36, 1 Thes 4:17)
• The Bible is God’s word, infallible and inerrant (2 Tim 3:16, John 17:17)
• The church is to preach the whole counsel of God, observe His sacraments (both of them) and foster discipleship (Mat 28:20, Rom 10:17, Luke 22:19, Mat 28:19, 2 Tim 3:16-17, Mat 18:15-17, 1 Cor 5:1-13, Eph 4:11-32 Phil 2:1-18.)
• There must be gospel and monetary outreach to the lost, poor, sick, lonely, hungry, etc. (Mat 25:35-40, 28:19-20, Acts 4:34)

Your list might be a little different from mine, but the basics of Christianity are always the same. This list will be most helpful to eliminate churches from consideration. If they don’t meet these criteria, there’s no reason to even attend a Sunday meeting. A prospective church’s stance on these issues can usually be easily determined with a visit to their website, or with a phone call.

Usually, churches that are affiliated with a particular denomination will say so or provide a link to their parent church on their website. Some do not, though, and it takes some sleuthing to find out if a Presbyterian church is PCA or PCUSA. (Hint: There’s a BIG difference.) Most non-denominational churches spell out what they believe in detail on their websites.

• Preaching should be expositional, verse by verse teaching more often than topical
• Prayer should be a big part of worship, not just reciting the Lord’s Prayer
• Music should be God-honoring, not man-centered. Hymns sung from hymnals are preferred to projected lyrics so I can figure out the tune
• Pianos and organs = good. Drum sets and electric guitars = not so good *
• Bible reading should be a part of worship, (and not just one or two verses)
• Creeds (ie. Apostles, Nicene) should often be a part of worship
• There should be lots of young families and old people. A good mixture of all ages
• There should be plenty of opportunities for Christian growth for the whole family (ie. Bible study, Sunday school)
• There should be plenty of opportunities for fellowship for the whole family

This will help you narrow down your list of prospective churches prior to visiting. Depending on your relationship with your current pastor, you might share these lists with him and ask for a recommendation for a new church for you. This could also be presented to a trusted friend or mentor who knows and understands your reasons for leaving.

Do not pick a church just because it is the only one that offers the kind of music you like. Remember, music in a church service is an offering to God, not entertainment for your enjoyment.

Next up: Visiting is the hardest part.