Should I Leave My Church?

and

How To Find A Good Church

If you or anyone you know is somewhere in this process, please send them a link to this post, or to the pages linked above.  Many of the links in these articles were helpful to me and I want to share them with others.

I have prayed that these articles might be helpful to Christian brothers and sisters who are searching for their place in the body of Christ.

55 weeks ago, I attended worship at my previous church for the last time. Almost a year from that day, I was accepted for membership at Harvest Presbyterian Church in Medina, Ohio. This coming Sunday, God willing, I will publically join with my new church family. My journey has been eventful and blessed, even though the road I traveled had its low and bumpy places. All thanks be to God for guiding me in the way He determined.

The church you’ve decided to join isn’t as perfect as it seems and it will become even less perfect after you join. (I know. Ha ha.) Sure, the sermons are a rich blessing of exegesis, the music is uplifting, Bible study is meaty and you even like the curtains in the hallway. The people you meet are friendly and interested in you and your family. But (you saw that word coming, didn’t you?) be realistic, you’re still on your honeymoon. You don’t know anybody well enough to have a disagreement yet.

It is important to enjoy and delight in this time in your new church. Revel in the Christian love and togetherness you have as members of the body of Christ and don’t forget this wonderful feeling. The happy beginnings of fellowship among your new friends will help carry you through times of difficulty and disagreement, if such times should come.

It really is somewhat analogous to marriage. In the beginning everything is peaches and cream, but after a while reality sets in and you realize your “peach” isn’t always soft and sweet. In fact, that peach can be kind of bitter and hard sometimes. If you really love each other though, you’ll find a way to work things out.

The future ahead of you now will be interesting, exciting, joyful and rewarding. Grow in Christian love for one another, remember to assume the best about everybody; be charitable in your relations with those you find scratchy. Friction can be overcome by a generous dollop of the gospel of peace. Count others as more worthy than yourself. Submit yourselves willingly to the leadership of the church even as they humbly serve you and your family. (1 Thess. 3:12, Prov. 15:1, Eph. 6:15, Phil. 2:3, 1 Pet. 5:5)

Leave your baggage at the door

This is my greatest struggle. I have more than 30 years of “luggage” from my old church and sometimes I still tote around a couple of small bags; sore spots that occasionally get bumped. I’m sensitive to people ‘marking their territory’ and to applause during worship that isn’t clearly directed at God. Thankfully, I think the days are over for me having to hear secular humanism preached from the pulpit and seeing tradition held in higher regard than scripture. Thanks be to God for that!

You may find that God gives you unexpected joy through your new church family in surprising places. For me, attending men’s bible study (even when there are only five or six of us) is vastly superior to having no bible study at all. You may find that struggling to keep a small gospel outreach going is better than having the elders tell you that it’s not important and you should just forget about it.

Keep yourself open to new ideas and activities. Praise God for every chance to grow closer to your brothers and sisters in Christ. Get to know some of the widows who always sit together on that one side near the aisle, and befriend a family with young children. Remember, you’ll be spending eternity with these people. Don’t limit yourself to those you are naturally comfortable with.

Going Back

In some rare cases, you might find yourself in a situation where you decide to return to the church you left.

If you left for biblical reasons, this may not be wise; unless there have been major changes while you were away. For instance, a friend of mine left his church because the pastor was preaching heresy and the leadership refused to challenge him. After my friend left, the pastor quit and they hired somebody new. When my friend returned to his church, the main problem he had was gone.

If you left for non-biblical reasons or over secondary issues only, you’re going to need to go back with your hat in your hand. You’ve effectively betrayed a solemn oath to be a part of the body of the church. This is cause for repentance. Start with your pastor or a trusted elder and explain to him the journey you’ve been on and why you wish to return. Be sure to apologize for any hurt you may have caused.

I still feel drawn to go back to my old church and try to fix what was broken there. I still have affection for the people I left and it saddens me that many of them remain lost in antinomianism and legalism. I pray for my old church weekly, but still feel like I should have done more before I left. It’s a sorrow to which I’ve become accustomed. Like the loss of a parent, the sadness never goes away, but you get used to it as time passes.

I’m no longer a homeless Christian. Praise God!

Like the Highlander franchise, this series has gone on longer than originally planned. Part seven (!) with one to go. Here are parts one, two, three, four, five and six.

One of the best ways to get to know a church is to take a membership class if one is offered. One of my ‘finalist’ churches offers what is called an inquirers class that is a prerequisite for membership, but is open to anyone who desires to know more about church doctrine, polity, etc. (A church that offers a class like this is usually one that is serious about Discipline/Discipleship). If one is not offered, ask an elder or the pastor out for coffee or a meal to get acquainted and talk about the church.

Some readers may find it amusing to know that my two finalists were a Baptist Church and a Presbyterian (PCA) Church. A Brethren Church was a distant third place; in their case, the musical style, personal connection and size were factors against, but the preaching was fantastic. On essential Christian doctrine, all these churches qualified, though they differ greatly on secondary issues.

Here is an ironic twist: Remember some of the bad reasons I listed for leaving a church?  Some of these bad reasons might be good reasons to not choose a particular church as your new home. In other words, why go looking for problems? If you left a church because it has grown too large (not a good reason to leave), then you should probably eliminate large-ish churches from your list of possibilities. It’s a bad reason to leave a church because you don’t like the music half the time; but if you don’t like half the music at a prospective church, it might be a good reason to not join it.

Time to get serious

Hopefully, you’ll now be at a point to decide on a church and the right choice will be clear. Again, praise God if this is true for you. If you’re not yet at this point, it’s time to get serious and make a decision.

Assuming you have your list narrowed down to two churches, devote a month to one church, then devote the next month to the other. And I do mean DEVOTE. Give yourself to everything you think you might be interested in as a member (Acts 2:42). Most churches welcome visitors to join with all their worship, prayer, fellowship and service groups. Join the choir, attend Sunday school, bible study, a committee meeting, youth group, a fellowship dinner, a council meeting, small group, prayer meeting, a work day, a service project, personal evangelism, or anything else you think you might enjoy doing. Get to know the people and how they do things. Prayerfully reflect on each experience and ask God to make the decision clear to you.

At my ‘finalist’ church, I sang in the choir over Christmas, joined a Sunday school class and attended Men’s bible study. I also invited the Senior Pastor out for coffee one evening to talk about my search and ask questions about my situation and the church. These were means toward the end of getting a good ‘feeling’ for the church and her people, not just an analytical examination of the strengths and weaknesses of the programs and ministry. One of the things the pastor told me was that relationships matter greatly. I don’t think I had given them as much weight as they deserved prior to that meeting.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Pray, pray, pray and pray some more (Eph. 6:18, Phil. 4:6). This cannot be stressed enough if you are struggling with any decision. It is especially true when choosing a new church for you and your family. Spend time also reading God’s word. Read Acts to learn about things the early church was doing. Read the Timothy 1 & 2 and Titus to learn about what biblical leadership should look like.

Pray also with your spouse and your children. Spend time reading portions of Acts together. Talk to your Christian friends about your decision and ask them to pray for you and your future church. Seek the wise counsel of a trusted elder friend (Prov. 28:26, 13:20) who has gone through what you’re going through. Pray some more. Meditate on God’s word. Repeat. Often.

Pull the Trigger

Remember the shock of not going to your old church the first Sunday after you left? You were comfortable there; it was like second nature to drive there and find your seat on the same side every week. Eventually the shock wore off and you got used to being a ‘drifter.’ If you’re like me, you probably skipped a few Sunday gatherings altogether. But you got used to being uncomfortable.

Strange thing, this: You can get very comfortable being uncomfortable; so much so that it becomes uncomfortable to think about getting comfortable again. Don’t let it happen! Make a commitment! Drop the hammer on that nail and drive it home!

You’re never going to have all the information you need. You’ll never know all the people you should know well enough. There is going to be something that you missed. In the end, you need to trust that God has led you to the place where He wants you to be. (Prov. 3:5)

Don’t worry! (Matt. 6:34) God knows what He’s doing!

Make an informed, educated choice and stick with it. Throw in your lot with the people you feel drawn to intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Commit to them and let them commit to you. Enter a relationship with God’s people, do your best to love them and keep praying for the best. (John 13:34-5)

Next: Finishing Up and Starting Over

Now the work really begins, and not just because you can’t wear your pajamas anymore. (Actually, I’ve visited some churches where pajamas would be fine!) You’ve got to get yourself and your family all dressed and ready to do something really difficult and unpleasant: walk into a strange church where you (probably) don’t know a soul.

Attend the prospective church on a typical Sunday morning. Don’t go for the first time on Easter, Christmas, special events, etc. You want to see a ‘typical’ service if possible. If you happen to go to a church for the first time and there is a guest preacher, special event or other non-typical event, plan to go again the following week.  Do not judge any church on only a single Sunday’s attendance. A good rule of thumb is that you’re not qualified to evaluate a church until you’ve attended at least three times.

The exception to the ‘three visits’ rule is if you find something biblically amiss the first time;  like a woman pastor or a Joel Osteen video in a bible study class. There’s really no reason to go back unless it is to advise them to revise their website to reflect reality.

Playing Games

I don’t recommend that everyone do this, but there are some subtle tests you can perform to help evaluate certain aspects of the church during your visit. Perhaps ‘running a play’ would be a more accurate description than playing games.

All the lonely people; where do they all belong?

At two different evangelical megachurches, I stood along the wall of the narthex/commons area all by myself and just kind of looked around. I met people’s eyes whenever possible as they were walking by and nodded or smiled at them. I did this three to five minutes prior to or just after the service. Not a single person stopped to talk to me in either place. The preaching was very good at both churches; the music was acceptable but not great at one, and downright irritating at the other, but this was a deal breaker for me.

I was fishing for a greeting, trying to look as lost and vulnerable as I could, but didn’t succeed in catching anyone. People doing what I was doing should get noticed, and someone (anyone!) should stop and say hello at the very least. (Romans 12:13)

When I ran this play at Parkside Church in Bainbridge, Ohio, a man named Douglas came up to me almost immediately and started a conversation. It was mostly small talk, but it was enough to make me feel welcome and when we parted ways he said he hoped to see me again. Eight months later I still remember his name, so he obviously made an impression. I really, really like Parkside church; unfortunately, it is about a 45 minute drive from my home.

“Hi. My name is Dave Miller, this is my (first, second, third) time here. How long have you been attending?” That’s my standard opening line when visiting a church. Usually, rather than waiting to be approached, I find a man about my age, walk up, put out my hand and ask the question; then I shut up and listen.  There are also a few standard follow-up questions that I’ve used depending on the situation.

• Do you have family here too?
• Where did you go to church before?
• Would you say this is/was a pretty typical worship service?
• What do you like most about this church?
• Does the pastor have any tattoos or piercings?

I’ve never actually asked the last question of anyone, but include it just to make the point that there really isn’t anything that is too far out-of-bounds to ask when visiting a church. If there is anything you are concerned about or just want to know, ask!

Grading on the curve

When you get to your car after the service, write down the names of the people you met and a few short impressions of your experience. After you get home, go over your list of primary and secondary criteria and assign a letter or numerical grade to each if you can. Write down your general impression of the church in more detail and include the input of your family as well. After visiting three churches, each more than once, you can start ranking them.

Remember, there is no perfect church. Don’t be disappointed when you don’t find a church that receives a perfect 10 rating. Part of being a Christian is compromising with fellow believers on non-essential issues (Romans 14:5). As long as the essentials are present (Preaching the whole counsel of God, sacraments are rightly observed, discipleship is practiced and encouraged) the rest is just a subjective decision.

If you made a personal connection with someone, you really hit it off and made fast friends, don’t discount that as unimportant. Personal connections with fellow believers are a big part of being in Christ. This is especially true for your children. If your kids have a connection, that should carry quite a bit of weight when it gets to making a choice.

When I got to the point where I had my list narrowed down to three candidates, I kind of knew in the back of my mind which was the right church for me. As I mentioned in a previous post I’m searching by myself, so if you are searching with your family, (Praise God if you are!) be sure to take their opinions into account too.

Next up: Narrowing down – Part 7.

The devotional told the story of a pastor who gave a group of children one Lego block each, and then asked them to add each of their blocks to his block and build a “Lego church.” His intention was to demonstrate that each of them was a part of the church. The pastor said that some tried to build something resembling a house, but many pieces were sticking out “on a limb.” Since there were so many different kids with different ideas, the construct looked like “nothing you have ever seen before.”

The pastor summed up this object lesson with the following:

The real church is like that. Each of us brings our piece to add to the whole and even if someone suggests we add it in a certain place, we have our own ideas and place it where we will. It seems like a mess! But then we are reminded that this is not our church [but] Christ’s church and he builds it as he wills it.

God does receive us in the shape we are in and fits us into his church, but the fact of the matter is that we just don’t fit very well; nor should we. We come to God’s church in a worldly form. He meets us where we are, like the woman caught in adultery and like Zacchaeus in the tree, but he doesn’t leave us in the shape we were in when we met Him. The woman caught in adultery was told to go and sin no more (John 8:10-11) and Zacchaeus repented and promised to repay his victims four times over (Luke 19:8).

Likewise, if we remain in the worldly shape that we were in when we come, the church we form will be worldly as well. That’s what the devotional writer got wrong. God’s church doesn’t have parts sticking out in random directions that serve no purpose and we aren’t the ones who form God’s church in the first place! No, Christ reshapes us into the kind of block that He needs for His good purposes. (Matthew 16:18) Look at the quote above again. In one sentence the writer says, “…we have our own ideas and place it where we will.” And two sentences later, he says that Christ “builds it as he wills it.”

Which is it, Mr. Devo Writer?

Are we building it or is Jesus?

In ancient times, the Tabernacle was constructed to very exacting specifications. It wasn’t a random conglomeration of whatever rocks and branches the carpenters found lying around. God spoke to Moses about the materials, the processes, the sizes, the adornment, and the order of all of the parts of the temple, including the priests themselves! (Exodus 26:1-27:21) He ordained who would do the work of the Lord within the temple; and how and when they would do it in order to please Him (Exodus 28:1-31:18). The devotional writer is saying the exact opposite – that we come as we are, we decide how we are going to be, what we are going to do and we make something pleasing to God all by ourselves.

Nothing could be less biblical.

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself. – C. S. Lewis in Mere Christianity

I live in an area of Ohio where there are more than 100 churches within a 20 minute drive. I was able to narrow down my list of potential new church homes to about a dozen while sitting at my computer.

The first thing I did was eliminate every church that has “UNI” in its name (Thanks, Todd Friel). United Church of Christ, Unitarian Universalist (double-whammy!) and Unity Church are not worth wasting your time considering because they either tolerate/allow sinful teaching and behaviors or even celebrate them. This is also true to a lesser degree with Evangelical Lutheran, Episcopal and some Presbyterian (PCUSA) churches as well. Elimination of these falls under the heading of “Lack of Biblical Church Discipline.” (See 1 Cor 5:1ff for more information.)

Write down what you believe and why. Be sure to cite scriptural reasons for them if you can. This is not a “preferences” list; it is a list of biblical truths that cannot be compromised. Keep secondary issues out of it for now.

Here is my list (Note the words, is and must):

• One God, three persons, all are God, holy and set apart (Deut 6:4, Matthew 28:19 Isaiah 6:3)
• Man is sinful by nature and separated from God since Adam’s fall (Rom 3:23, 1 Cor 15:22)
• The person and work of Jesus is the focus of the church and the ONLY WAY to reconciliation with God for those he elects (1 Cor 1:2, John 14:6, Acts 4:12, Eph 1:4-5 )
• Jesus lived a sinless life, died an atoning death on the cross, rose from the dead and went to the Father. He’ll be back to collect His church someday (2 Cor 5:21, Acts 2:32-36, 1 Thes 4:17)
• The Bible is God’s word, infallible and inerrant (2 Tim 3:16, John 17:17)
• The church is to preach the whole counsel of God, observe His sacraments (both of them) and foster discipleship (Mat 28:20, Rom 10:17, Luke 22:19, Mat 28:19, 2 Tim 3:16-17, Mat 18:15-17, 1 Cor 5:1-13, Eph 4:11-32 Phil 2:1-18.)
• There must be gospel and monetary outreach to the lost, poor, sick, lonely, hungry, etc. (Mat 25:35-40, 28:19-20, Acts 4:34)

Your list might be a little different from mine, but the basics of Christianity are always the same. This list will be most helpful to eliminate churches from consideration. If they don’t meet these criteria, there’s no reason to even attend a Sunday meeting. A prospective church’s stance on these issues can usually be easily determined with a visit to their website, or with a phone call.

Usually, churches that are affiliated with a particular denomination will say so or provide a link to their parent church on their website. Some do not, though, and it takes some sleuthing to find out if a Presbyterian church is PCA or PCUSA. (Hint: There’s a BIG difference.) Most non-denominational churches spell out what they believe in detail on their websites.

• Preaching should be expositional, verse by verse teaching more often than topical
• Prayer should be a big part of worship, not just reciting the Lord’s Prayer
• Music should be God-honoring, not man-centered. Hymns sung from hymnals are preferred to projected lyrics so I can figure out the tune
• Pianos and organs = good. Drum sets and electric guitars = not so good *
• Bible reading should be a part of worship, (and not just one or two verses)
• Creeds (ie. Apostles, Nicene) should often be a part of worship
• There should be lots of young families and old people. A good mixture of all ages
• There should be plenty of opportunities for Christian growth for the whole family (ie. Bible study, Sunday school)
• There should be plenty of opportunities for fellowship for the whole family

This will help you narrow down your list of prospective churches prior to visiting. Depending on your relationship with your current pastor, you might share these lists with him and ask for a recommendation for a new church for you. This could also be presented to a trusted friend or mentor who knows and understands your reasons for leaving.

The Gospel Coalition Church Directory

Do not pick a church just because it is the only one that offers the kind of music you like. Remember, music in a church service is an offering to God, not entertainment for your enjoyment.

Next up: Visiting is the hardest part – Part 6.

By far, the most difficult part of changing churches is leaving your current church. My leaving experience earlier this year was far more emotionally taxing than I expected. I am not a particularly sensitive person (My favorite Star Trek character is Spock!), but the feelings of anger, loss, resentment and sadness caught me by surprise. In hindsight, I don’t think I did a very good job leaving my former church, but since I’d never done it before I suppose some errors were inevitable.

There are many reasons people give for leaving a fellowship of believers and the assumption in this article is that you’re leaving for a bona fide (good and faithful) reason. For example; if the whole word of God is not being preached, or if the Sacraments (both of them) are not being rightly observed, or if Christian Discipline is not being practiced, you are not in a true church anyway, so just leave already. (Belgic Confession #29 – You might need to click on Article 29)

Leaving a church, like changing the structure of government, should not be done for “light and transitory reasons.” That is, you don’t leave your church home because the new carpet isn’t the color you like, or the communion wine is too sweet, or even if you don’t get along with the pastor. I know a man who broke fellowship with his church because the preacher didn’t like the same football team as he did. This is selfish and short-sighted. There are times when it is right to leave a church over non-essentials, but not often; certainly much less often than is normally observed in the American Christian experience.

Tim Challies wrote an article on this subject about a year ago that helped me immensely.

John MacArthur has also addressed the issue.

The Nine Marks Blog has a list of 10 Questions you should ask yourself before you leave.

These are reliable resources; use them!

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” – Ephesians 4:29

Though not everything you say to your pastor must be positive, be sure that it is truthful and spoken in love (Eph. 4:15) so that it will accurately inform him to the reasons why you are leaving. Remember, leaving your church is hurtful to a pastor; you are basically firing him from his position as shepherd of your soul. Try to show your pastor the same grace that God has shown to you. Be willing to keep some secondary concerns to yourself, especially if they involve interpersonal differences with other members of the fellowship.

If you do some scouting for new churches before you formally leave your current church, you should assume that word will get back to your pastor about it. This is especially true in a small town and is why you should meet with your pastor first. Don’t do your leaving in the middle of the night, like there is something shameful about it. Remember, you have good reasons, right? Be upfront with your pastor about your concerns and be certain they’re biblical.

You and your spouse should be in agreement about leaving. If not, you have some talking to do (Eph. 5:33). Lean on each other throughout the leaving and the searching process, bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2). Be up-front with your children about leaving; don’t leave anybody in the dark. Explain your reasons to children in terms they can understand. This is a good learning opportunity for them, don’t waste it! (Eph. 6:4)

In my own situation, my family left my former church before I did. They are now at another church they are content with while I search for something better; hopefully for all of us eventually. A word of advice on my situation: Don’t split up. I wish we hadn’t. If you’re going to stay, stay as a family. If you’re going to leave, leave as a family. Dad and Mom going to different churches with or without the kids is a sad situation.

If possible, you should talk to a trusted friend who is also a member of your home church. Tell them the reasons you are leaving – just the same as you told your pastor. Don’t change your story or embellish it! Make sure what you say is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth (Eph. 4:25). Ask them for their prayers and for any insightful advice they might share. Promise to keep in touch and then keep that promise.

Next up:  Searching – Part 5

When you joined your church, you made a promise to share in the joys and sorrows of the fellowship of believers. Now, perhaps, you think it is time to break that promise and leave your church family. You may be right, but you must be careful.

The purpose of this article is not to encourage you to break your promise and leave the fellowship, but rather to encourage you to consider seriously whether or not it is right, biblically, for you to leave. A few good reasons for you to break from your church are: if you are moving, if you desire better teaching for your children, or if your church has broken their promise to you.

Some hard questions you should ask yourself before you break fellowship with your local church:

Am I leaving because my needs aren’t being met by the people, programs or leadership?

If your answer is yes, you may not be leaving for a biblical reason. Contrary to the Saturday morning children’s song, you are not “The Most Important Person in the Whole Wide World.” Church is not about you and your needs; it is about God and His Glory (Eph. 3:21). He knits together dissimilar parts into a family of fellowship and calls us to bear all things for our brothers and sisters (Eph. 1:4-5, 1 Cor. 13:7). Are you bearing up under difficult circumstances or running and hiding because it’s easier?

Am I leaving because church just doesn’t feel the same as it used to (usually because of changes)?

Contrary to the teaching of Obi Wan Kenobi, you shouldn’t necessarily “trust your feelings.” Your decision needs to involve both your heart and your head, not just your heart. The heart is deceptive and the human mind is deceitful above all things (Jer. 17:9). Leaving shouldn’t be your first course of action; instead, do something to make a positive change to get back a little of that familiar feeling.

Am I leaving because another member is hard to get along with or is stubborn and contentious?

We are called to be forbearing with others and to not be a stumbling block to weaker brothers (Col. 3:13, Lev. 19:14). You have an opportunity to show difficult people in your church how a Christian reacts to conflict. Remember, your church consists of both wheat and tares, and we have to deal with both of them biblically and with love. If you leave, I can guarantee that there will be stubborn people in your next church as well.

Am I leaving because there are too many people who just don’t “get it” like I do?

Again, our churches are full of wheat and weeds. Some Christians are big on unity and couldn’t care less about the truth. Others are more concerned with being biblically correct all the time at the expense of loving their neighbor. There was probably a time not so long ago when you didn’t ‘get it’ either. Talk to your Christian brothers and sisters and help them ‘get it’– it might surprise you to find that they have something to teach you too. Don’t think too highly of yourself. (Rom. 12:3)

Am I leaving because I don’t believe the same as the church does (beliefs or practices have changed)?

Now we’re getting out of the area of bad reasons and into the realm of good reasons to leave a church. There are many issues upon which Christians must hold fast and not compromise. There are many more issues upon which Christians can and should be willing to compromise. Clapping during worship bothers some people and not others; it’s not worth separating over. Outside performers (who aren’t professing believers) singing secular songs during worship is crossing a significant line. Espousing heretical doctrine from the pulpit or allowing people who live in open rebellion to the word of God to lead worship services is another example of crossing a crucial line. Given enough of these line crossings, churches will begin to lose faithful members.

Other good reasons for leaving a church include:

• Leadership promoting tolerance of intolerable doctrines or practices.
• Leadership focusing on something other than the person and work of Christ. (ie. Politics, social activism, growth)
• Local congregation remaining in apostate denominations. (ie. UCC, ELCA, Episcopal, PCUSA)

Even if you have good reasons to leave, you might desire to stay and fight for the truth of the gospel. In my own experience, I stayed and tried to change things in the leadership of the church (I was Chairman of the Elders). After more than a year, having received little support on crucial issues from my fellow elders or the pastor, I left, rather than continue to compromise on what I considered to be Christian essentials.

Selective disregard for the authority of scripture among the leadership was the primary reason for me to leave my former church. It took the form of tolerance (and tacit approval) of the openly immoral behavior of a few professing believers. In other words, Christian Discipline was non-existent.

It seems like a pretty clear-cut reason to leave now that I see it written out so plainly, but things weren’t so clear to me at the time and I’ve done more than enough wrestling with doubt.

Hopefully, though, I’m not like this guy:

Next up: Leaving Well, part 4.